Goodbye - Sometimes it's not so sad at all!

Goodbye

As a child I use to think that the word "Goodbye" was a sad one. Actually, I don't think I got until just recently that it isn't. What can I say? I'm a 4 planet Cancerian! We hold on with more tenacity than I could ever explain with words. I can't say why other Cancerians (or non-Cancerians) hold on but I know why I did it. I never liked to ~let go~ of a relationship because I've always believed that with enough heart and soul invested in it...any relationship could find common/peaceful/mutually satisfying ground. I've now come to the realization (FINALLY!) that it's not always possible.

I apologize in advance for relating a good portion of what I say to Astrology but it's such an awesome tool and I've learned so much because of it that I just can't help myself. That said....

Libra! I'm Libra Rising. That means that my "personality" is "other" oriented. When I first found that out I didn't believe it. It just didn't seem like "me". It's taken me a good number of years to realize that THAT was true as well...and what a lightening bolt of truth it's become!!!

Libra not only likes to learn through others but it likes peace and tranquility and harmony. I know that by now you're probably saying: Who doesn't? and you'd be right. But, for Libra Risings it's tantamount to needing air to breathe. It's a major portion of who and what we are.

After realizing that I was Libra Rising and all that that means I started to examine my life and the relationships in them. I realized that I wanted peace so much that all too often I compromised another important part of who and what I am and that is TRUTH! Truth is very important to me and yet, I recently had to come to terms with the fact that in order to keep "peace" I often held back true and honest feelings. I know what truth is, and that isn't it. Of course I didn't realize it when I when I was holding back. I thought I was taking the high road, being noble....holding on for a bigger and better outcome....which was peace....but I wasn't.

No one should have to sacrifice who and what they are so totally and completely that there's no true faction of who they are present. No one should have to give everything to keeping peace. It's got to be a joint endeavor. That's what a relationship really is.

Recently, since I realized all of this, I've had some "friends" go out of my life. If you would have asked me 12 years ago about a situation like this I'd have probably projected that I'd be a basket case...but I'm not!!!! One friend left because LOL, I told the truth. They asked a question, opened a door in my estimation, and I decided to walk through it. I knew that there could very well be consequences after that. In fact, in my heart, I knew that there probably would be consequences after that, but I walked through the door anyway. That walk of mine led to a "Goodbye" and you know what? I feel better than I have in a long time! I was ME! I'm not saying that I'm perfect, or that I never screw up or anything like that at all. I'm just saying that I was me and that I was me in complete truth. That the other person has gone from the relationship doesn't mean a thing to me. It shows me that they only liked me when I complimented *them*. It shows me that there was a price for their friendship. I also got to see who they really are through the dispute and whoa! It wasn't pretty. LOL There's nothing like a little tiff to see the true personality behind the mask someone wears.

Another friend recently just stopped talking to me! LOL Yep, I have no idea why or even when they stopped talking but I did notice that they had stopped. I even thought it must be my imagination so I ran it by someone else who knows us both and they admitted that there was something going on.

Like the open door presented to me in the first situation, this occasion also presented me with an opportunity. I could pretend that I didn't notice the other person's "quiet" or, I could directly go to them and put it all on the table. I decided to go with option #2. What was the outcome? It was more quiet on the other person's part. That's right, they said nothing at all. Again, if this had happened 12 or so years ago I'd have been beside myself. Now I just think: Whoa!!! That's pretty heavy...ON THEIR PART. When someone comes to you admitting that they've noticed how quiet you are and asking what the problem is only to get NO REPLY what-so-ever, well, it tells you a lot about that person too!!! It tells me that they don't care about other people or their feelings. It tells me that they don't care about truth, or relationships. What they really care about is feeling "right" and like a "victim". They're no victim. They're the perpetrator. If someone tells you that they think you might be upset with them because you've been quiet but that you have no idea why...and they don't answer you....it's their (probably unconscious) way of saying: I don't care. I only care about me.

The two people I spoke of up above acted as though they were friends all along...but they were never really friends. Friends DO argue from time to time....but they do it with a totally different style and a different aura surrounding the whole thing. They do it with truth....and they don't do it dirty. Real friends put all of their cards on the table and if they are hurt, they express why. How can a fence mend if one of the parties owning it doesn't even know it's broken???? The sulking party believes they're a victim but they're not....and it's through all of that...and my realization of it ...that I learned it's alright to say Goodbye to people that want you in their life for a price. Everyone thinks materialism is about money and things but it's not. Anyone who tries to extort something from you, isn't really interested in you, they're interested in what's in it for them and that's not friendship.

I've learned a lot lately. I've learned about others but more importantly I've learned about myself. I've always known that relationships were important to me but I've also always known that truth was important to me. The two CAN and SHOULD both exist in the same equation but sadly, I've found that when put to the test, some of the relationships I had failed miserably. I've also learned that it's not only right and proper to let things like that ~go~.....i.e to say: Goodbye....but that it's actually even WONDERFUL! I feel so clean and peaceful that words cannot describe!!!

I'm never ever again going to silence myself for the sake of a "friendship". If someone wants me in their life, they want ALL OF ME....and that includes what I truly feel, think and say!!!!!!!

Love & Light~*
~*MoonLady*~ the Rambler~*